#NoFilter, is being honest with strangers the new attitude to dating?
Accredited relationship master coach Teresha Young chats to Jessica O'Rourke to encourage the new #NoFilter approach to dating, embracing honesty on dating apps and the importance of self-love
Photo credits: Good Faces Agency on Unsplash
Dating apps have become ingrained in society today. If you’re looking for love, online dating always seems to be the recommended route to take. Whether it be Tinder, Bumble or Hinge, the options are endless - filled with strangers waiting to get to know you.
But would you really let them get to know you? As of May 2021, 15.5% of internet users, aged between 25 and 34 years, were using online dating services but were they using it to its full potential?
There’s a societal pressure on dating app users to present the perfect version of yourself to potential matches online. Making sure you show yourself best dressed at the perfect angle is how we all feel we should present ourselves.
‘We know relationships are built on trust, so therefore, honesty is key for that.’
There is a new way to meet people online, supported by an accredited relationship master coach, prioritising connections rather than appearances. The new #NoFilter attitude to dating is to embrace honesty and be vulnerable with strangers online.
Teresha Young’s masterclass for online dating
Teresha Young, public figure and accredited and certified Relationship Master Coach @TereshaYoungRestyler, has shown hundreds of young women how to find a deeper understanding of themselves to create a strong set up for relationship success. She emphasises honesty, communication and self-love as the pillars for developing a good relationship on dating apps.
‘If you know so much about what you’re looking for, what your values are, what you stand for, who is the real you - when you can really tap into that on the app.’
‘Then you’ll be able to navigate that app in a way that reflects who you are,’ she explained. ‘Be as authentic and honest as you can in your bio about your likes, and even more your dislikes, because it sets the tone for where you are going forward.’
Teresha drew connections between dating and Maslow’s ever-desperate hierarchy of needs. She explained to me that whilst basic physiological needs like food are at the base of the pyramid, the second need is safety and ‘in order to feel safe, there’s an element of vulnerability. In order to be vulnerable, you have to have that honesty.’
‘Therefore, honesty is key from the start,’ Teresha explained when you’re meeting people online, ‘because you don’t want to start a relationship based on experience or based on deception.’
Photo credits: Teresha Young, Certified and Accredited Relationship Master Coach.
Tinder brings back the Blind Date
Tinder is encouraging users to embrace honesty with strangers by introducing ‘Fast Chat: Blind Date’. In February 2022, Tinder revealed they’re rolling out ‘a new social experience that pairs members before allowing them to view each other's profile.’
Ella Major, a spokesperson for Tinder, told me that Blind Date has been designed to ‘bring members new ways to create human connection’ and ‘reflect Gen Z’s call for nostalgia and authentic connections.’
Starting in the US and rolling out globally soon, Blind Date is the latest addition to Tinder’s Fast Chat feature, ‘designed to help members connect faster through fun innovative prompts and games, members will only be able to view each other’s profiles and photos if they both decide to match after chatting.’
Alexis Lawson, author and content creator @HerBlackHand, told me that she thinks ‘the blind date options could be a great way to encourage people to start conversations and get to know each other more than they would have otherwise.’
Users get to be their honest and authentic selves whilst getting to know each other, only seeing each other’s appearances once they have matched. This new addition to Tinder combats the societal pressure for a perfect profile, instead prioritising personality and connections.
Photo credits: Jess O’Rourke
Embracing self-love can score you a date
Tapping into Gen Z’s call for authentic connections, Teresha highlighted the regular use of filters in today’s society. When it comes to using filters on dating profiles, she explained that ‘it’s not so much the fact that they didn’t look like the person, it’s more of the dishonesty part around it – it felt like a trust had been broken.’
Being honest with strangers in all aspects, not just physical, creates a strong foundation for future relationships. However, it’s important to be truly vulnerable with yourself before you can be vulnerable with other people.
Whether it be using filters to perfect your photos or trying to create the perfect bio, Teresha emphasises that honesty and vulnerability, ‘absolutely does start with yourself, because only we can make ourselves feel whole and complete. No other person can do that for us.’
It can be difficult to be honest with yourself and embrace being truly vulnerable, especially when today’s society tells us never to blow our own trumpet. However, we have to remember that ‘self-appreciation is key and it’s not coming from an egotistical, self-centred manner. This is self-love in its essence.’
Knowing how difficult it can be, Teresha provided some easy ways to let yourself be vulnerable and engage in self-love. She recommends journaling and gratitude, ‘I always encourage people that I work with to do a list of positive aspects. These are at least 10 positive things about yourself.’
‘Things like journaling can be such a great practice in order to witness your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions. Because when you start to take something intangible, like your thoughts, and you put it onto paper – you make it tangible.’
Teresha’s key takeaway points when it comes to embracing honesty with strangers on dating apps is to follow your intuition, ‘it’s your internal GPS system, if something doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.’ She says to ‘determine what app you want to go on because there’s so many out there – find out what fits right for you.’